It's almost 11 o'clock and I'm sitting on the couch catching up on So You Think You Can Dance, with my husband in the back ground sighing, do to me being up later then usual interrupting his "tv" time. I just feel like I have had so much going on in my life and mind lately. So much is going on around us! Life gets crazy so fast and yet we still keep going from day to day and I always sit here every night after the long days, coming home making dinner, bathing kids, picking up, being a referee, yelling a few times, and finally getting the kids off to bed (of course tucking them in not once but a few times) and then sitting, finally sitting with my Dt Pepsi usually in hand and then letting the day sink in. Or should I say stress sink in. It seems like the last year or so it's one thing after another, and it's not just me and my family, it's everyone around us, strangers, friends, and loved ones. Sometimes life takes us for a roller coaster ride through good and bad. I have learned you take it day by day and we may not always come out on top but we always come out learning something new about ourselves and the others around us. I have surrounded myself with such amazing family and friends, I feel like I can get through anything life throws at me! I try to be the best friend I can be to everyone I love. listen and try to encourage them in the best way I can. Sometimes it just takes an ear to listen for 3 hours and let the other person talk their heart out.
I have been going back and forth in my head so much, just cause I "want" so much! I want my kids to have everything, and to give my husband the life and enjoyment he wants for both of us. and right now it's just not in our deck of cards. I would love to say we both are working tons and life is wonderful. BUT... we have our moments, life is hard, kids are busy, time is lost, work is slow at times, and marriage is work!! One of us will get down about being broke after the bills are paid, and I'm really REALLY trying to look at this in a different way right now. I have to remember and be thankful for everything we have and get to do! My kids are young and honestly if we just went out on a hike or took a little picnic some where and let them fish, it's totally the little things they LOVE. And the late nights of Mario Cart with my hubby to remind us why we can't live without each other. ;) This weekend reminded me why I love where we are in life, even through all the stress and not fun moments. Saturday we headed down to the Old Mill, after dinner with my sister, her kids, brother and his daughter, to watch the "Night Glow" (aka Hot Air Balloons, going up at dusk) it was SO BEAUTIFUL!!! we found a great place on the grass, all the guys/kids played football until the balloons went up. Justin usually isn't up for coming to all the "odd" things we do in Bend, but this weekend he was there and you could tell the kids loved him being there and he did too. :) Bend always has some thing going on every weekend and most of the time it's all free! I take advantage almost every week to go do something fun. I still have a ton of stuff to do around the house and haven't been putting anytime in to it at all, but I"m hoping with slowing down at work I will have that extra time I've been lacking. The next few weeks are going to fly by, and summer is going to be gone before we know it! After long talks, I think Justin and I have decided to keep Averee home this year and not put her in Preschool. I just don't think she is fully ready for it and financially it's in our best interest to keep her home one more year(she is only 3 after all) . I'm also in the process of trying to find a new sitter for one day a week, for when school starts. With my little sister finding a "real" job, older sister going to beauty school full time, and my brothers music taking off and him having to fly out to the east all the time, I'm finally having to find a real sitter. I'm going to meet one on Wed. and she watches a lot of kids I know and parents I work with or have as clients so hopefully it all pans out. Come school time I'm going back to working weekends and not really looking forward to it at all. But it's what we have to do to save a little money right now, so weekends you are my new best friend!
OK well like I said this is late night ramblings so I now will turn off the computer and head to bed and reread this post in the morning and think what the hell was I writing!